Today I was watching a sermon on YouTube by Pastor Sadhu Sundar Selvaraj, and it was given at a conference in Monrovia Falls, North Carolina, USA. In the sermon, he was telling a story about Pastor William Branham, and Pastor Sundar was telling a stories about men of prayer, who took hold the horns of God through their lives of waiting and seeking on God and when he was telling the story of William Branham, he was narrating about Branham’s encounter with God after being in solitude and seeking the LORD in a secluded place.

In my personal and limited experience, I have read books about fathers of faith and about many pastors and missionaries of past generations, and some of these generations include those that have passed away. Some of the biographies that I have read included the story of George Mueller who through his life of extraordinary gift of faith was able to shelter orphans at his orphanage in the 1800’s, John Newton’s story and biography and how he was led to create the song Amazing Grace. And then there’s articles, blog posts, and movies about William Wilberforce, John Elliott, Dietrich Bonhoeffer and St. Augustine, and many martyrs from books published by the Voice of the Martyrs.

And I noted that many of these men, as well as the disciples in the Bible and prophets of old spend a lot of time in prayer and seeking God, and sometime after I listened to Pastor Sundar’s sermon, I began to listen to Branham’s sermon while cleaning out my kitchen cabinets and as it was two hour long sermon, I eventually came to my room to listen to his story about his pain when he lost his wife and then his baby daughter, leaving him with young son. When he described the pain and the suffering that he was going through, I felt moved to tears because of the sorrow brought on by the tragedies but also because the pain and the suffering was exactly how I would have described my own, although I don’t think the depth or the intensity of the pain would have been the same because the circumstances were not the same and I was not encountering a tragedy, but losses and challenges that are just too many to count and that if I were to write it down would be like a long grocery list and overwhelmingly burdensome.

Just the other day, I was watching another sermon by the same pastor, and this time he was describing about how Jesus intercedes for us in Heaven at the Right Hand of the Father. And this time, I was moved to tears because a few hours prior to the sermon I was broken and did not know what to do and prayed for Jesus to intercede on my behalf to the Father. And I have been asking Jesus to intercede for me for months and in tears, but I never knew if God even heard me. Like I know in my mind He does, but I didn’t know in my heart if He did. The sermon was a confirmation for me.

The point is that when we are truly sincere in seeking God, He would show us the things that matter most in our hearts in regards to our relationship with Him. And in this case, He showed me that He heard the prayer that Jesus interceded for me and that my pain and suffering was not because I was lost and in the wrong. I have now come to a place where grace abounds on me and that in my weakness Christ has made me strong. Although it is a not an easy place to be in, I realize that rejoicing in the LORD is possible in every situation and this does not mean no crying, no praying and no complaining. It means that despite all the things that are happening and despite the storms, I am not too engulfed within my circumstances that I remember God, praising Him, worshiping Him and talking to Him.

Although I don’t believe in the poverty gospel (sell everything you have is the only way to salvation doctrine) and I don’t believe suffering is a way for salvation and I definitely do not wish this on even my worst enemy, I am convinced that it is only through my suffering I’d encounter the grace, mercy, wonder, greatness and awesomeness of God and if I hadn’t I would not have known Him and His love in this way, and I would have missed knowing that He’d hear me when I call.